Mr. Christmas

My brother in law calls me Mr. Christmas. Unlike my wife and her family, who celebrate the Christmas season from Christmas to Epiphany, I celebrate year round. It is not unusual for me to listen to Christmas music in July. The year Therese and I were engaged, at Christmas time, I drove with my soon to be brother in law and his wife and 3 kids to visit his wife's parents. From there, we drove to meet my fiance's extended family down near the border. I brought dozens of Christmas CD's, we listened to all of them, even some Christmas stories. And ever since then, his oldest girls listen to Christmas music year round. Yes, I left my mark, and yes, I am sure they are thrilled with me. :) Well, maybe not. He does bring it up a lot, and always gets that look in his eye.... Anyway, here is a site where you can get your dose of the Christmas season: http://www.stormfax.com/dickens.htm So from Mr. Christmas to you, have a great holiday (holy day). Thanks for stopping by.

Unbe'frickin'lievable

Seattle's airport removes Christmas trees to avoid lawsuit from Rabbi

All nine Christmas trees have been removed from the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport instead of adding a giant Jewish menorah to the holiday display as a rabbi had requested. Maintenance workers boxed up the trees during the graveyard shift early Saturday, when airport bosses believed few people would notice. "We decided to take the trees down because we didn't want to be exclusive," said airport spokeswoman Terri-Ann Betancourt. "We're trying to be thoughtful and respectful, and will review policies after the first of the year." Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky, who made his request weeks ago, said he was appalled by the decision. He had hired a lawyer and threatened to sue if the Port of Seattle didn't add the menorah next to the trees, which had been festooned with red ribbons and bows. "Everyone should have their spirit of the holiday. For many people the trees are the spirit of the holidays, and adding a menorah adds light to the season," said Bogomilsky, who works at Chabad Lubavitch, a Jewish education foundation headquartered in Seattle's University District. After consulting with lawyers, port staff believed that adding the menorah would have required adding symbols for other religions and cultures in the Northwest. The holidays are the busiest season at the airport, Betancourt said, and staff didn't have time to play cultural anthropologists. Hanukkah begins this Friday at sundown. "They've darkened the hall instead of turning the lights up," said his lawyer, Harvey Grad. "There is a concern here that the Jewish community will be portrayed as the Grinch."

First Night Home

I finally got home yesterday and had a nice homecoming with my wife. Last night we had a Christmas party for work and then came home and slept.

Today it is like a different world. We are both on edge, and we don't even know why. There is no closeness or togetherness.

The affair still lingers on. She still feels the pain, and it expresses itself. We both know that it will take time, and that over time it won't hurt us the way it does now. Right now it is tough, but certainly not as tough as those first days after revelation.

We didn't know if we would stay together that first night or if we would divorce. I was supposed to leave on a business trip the next day and she asked me to pack my bags and leave that night. I asked her if I should pack for the trip or for longer, and she didn't know. She couldn't look at me, couldn't speak to me. I was disgusting to her, and truly I was disgusted with myself for what I had become.

The first week was a lot like that - us not knowing what to do or how to act. I spent night number 2 in our bed, but on the third night she asked me to leave our room and I moved into the guest room, where I spent a couple of weeks. After those weeks were up I slept on the floor of our bedroom. A couple of nights later she asked me to leave the house for the night and I went and spent the night with my parents, who don't live too far away. When I came home, she told me she forgave me for what I did - though forgiveness does not equal healing, and we continue to try to move forward.

Ours is a tale of strength and forgiveness. Guys, as I go through this I can't promise your wives will be as forgiving as mine has been, but I hope that many of the same lessons will apply. The lesson from this posting is to take responsibility for your actions. Allow her to yell as she grieves the loss of what you had. Don't yell back. If you have put yourself and your family in this situation you are responsible and need to own up. I see many people these days refuse to take responsibility for their actions - in many different respects. Don't fight this, gentlemen, just own up and take it like a man.

**As I reread this post, I wanted to make a note that my wife did not ask me to sleep on the floor. That was of my doing, I didn't feel like I was good enough to be next to her.