tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31960676302041186972024-03-19T23:33:42.398-06:00An East Wind“Good old Watson! You are the one fixed point in a changing age. There’s an east wind coming all the same, such a wind as never blew on England yet. It will be cold and bitter, Watson, and a good many of us may wither before its blast. But it’s God’s own wind none the less, and a cleaner, better, stronger land will lie in the sunshine when the storm has cleared.”Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-15398625587467530342008-12-28T15:41:00.002-07:002008-12-28T16:16:39.972-07:00Though I gotta say goodbye, for the winterI can tell it's about <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spAbRiG2cB4">that time</a>. More honestly, it's probably <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdmLmIArqWM">overdue</a>.<br /><br />I hardly post anymore, and when I do, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2EE511FWsQ">my heart isn't in it</a>. I haven't been <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Oec8RuwVVs">reading other blogs </a>(as you all have seen) as much and I haven't been commenting.<br /><br />So it's time to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WQ6Q_65qck">bid y'all farewell</a>. If anyone is still reading. I wouldn't be, considering how little I post. :)<br /><br />It's been fun. A little over 200 posts between the two blogs. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izQB2-Kmiic">A couple of years.</a> There were times when you all helped Therese and I <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3ORwO5xDUE">get through things</a>, and times when people came to us asking for advice or more specifics about our situation. Which, really, is <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fBj2wsimvQ">why we started</a> the blogs.<br /><br />I had the opportunity to meet a handful of people <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4y6M2AeQ00">face to face</a>, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KadOjVl6VCc">got to know some people </a>outside of the blogs, because of the blogs. No, the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikxcuDRiAn4">time wasn't wasted</a>, and I certainly <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKta7rfbBAU">don't regret</a> what we had. It's not you blog world. It's me.<br /><br />I'll leave all this up, because I may <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F-6gv_BlKs">be back someday</a>. It may be <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cnCEvGrj3M">sooner, rather than later</a>, depending on what happens with my job. If I end up <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8TUwHTfOOU">moving to NM</a>, I'll be without the family for a couple of months, and have a lot of time to catch up with ya. If not, well, I'll still comment once in awhile.<br /><br />Peace out, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkejcsvdpuQ">take care</a>, and I'll <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfkg_Gc4h8k">see you around</a>. With Therese still blogging, I'll never be that <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cCdWXKHsD4">far away.</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">p.s. yeah, I know some of the songs don't make sense, just enjoy the farewell gift from me to you!</span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">p.p.s. yeah, you know I love you, blog world. Yeah you. You know I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">talkin</span>' to you.</span>Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-26239569292860805452008-12-05T07:38:00.003-07:002008-12-05T07:59:07.146-07:00We'll have a gay old timeI've received a LOT of tolerance training, having been a manager as long as I have. Clearly, it didn't stick, because I'm still an a$$ (just ask Therese sometimes) but I like to think that I am tolerant of other ideas and thoughts, even if I don't agree.<br /><br /><br /><br />I remember one specific training I received around GLBT.<br /><br /><br /><br />For those not familiar, that is Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, and Transgender.<br /><br /><br /><br />Apparently there were those at work who felt they were being discriminated against, and all the managers had to go to a training about it. I went to the first session, and the woman who had put it all together decided it was the perfect opportunity to announce herself publicly as a lesbian. And as she stood up there, with tears in her eyes, I'm sure I must have had my mouth wide open in amazement. Not that she was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">publicly</span> "outing" herself, but that she decided to do it at work. I always thought that was a more personal choice. But, to each their own, I suppose.<br /><br /><br /><br />Anyway, I have a lot of experience with this stuff, obviously.<br /><br /><br /><br />Yesterday, when reading the local paper online, there was an article about a GLBT rally on a local college campus. Since that campus happens to be my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">alma</span> mater, I was vaguely interested and started skimming the article. What stopped me was the caption under the main picture.<br /><br /><br /><br />"....members of the gay, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">lesbian</span>, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, intersex and queer community."<br /><br /><br /><br />Okay, so I've got the GLBT part down. And I understand transgender, though I'm not sure why it was added to the list. But intersex and queer? I'm extremely confused. I asked a guy sitting next to me, and he had never heard those terms either. Especially since I was always told that 'queer' is a derogatory term for homosexual!<br /><br /><br /><br />So last night I looked up intersex, and apparently that is the new term for <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">hermaphrodite</span>. But I'm still not sure how 'queer' fits in there as a now accepted term. So if any of you want to enlighten me, please do. But know that going forward it is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">GLBTTIQ</span>.<br /><br /><br /><br />And don't you forget it.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-30817762088395047162008-11-27T12:24:00.000-07:002008-11-27T12:27:00.574-07:00Happy Thanksgiving<div align="center">Thanksgiving Proclamation</div><div align="center">City of New York, October 3, 1789</div><div align="center"><br />WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:" </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">George Washington</div>Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-49766712927279142832008-11-18T22:06:00.002-07:002008-11-18T22:09:08.205-07:00Friday's disturbing newsOkay, this clip is a LITTLE disturbing, and I'd be careful watching it at work. But, it all ties together.<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtipJD2AtKQ">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtipJD2AtKQ</a><br /><br />Now, I'd like you to ask Therese why she is so interested in chicken porn.<br /><br />Cause I just don't get it.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-79242898342107891552008-11-14T14:23:00.001-07:002008-11-14T14:23:48.724-07:00Hardy Har HarI'd like to follow up yesterday's depressing post with a funny one.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php">http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php</a>Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-80398255685532946772008-11-13T20:17:00.002-07:002008-11-13T20:43:37.769-07:00The grass is always greenerWhen I was a sales manager for 6 years, I used the steadiness of the job to finish my degree. Once that was done, the itch to change jobs (I think that is what the itch was... the cream helped) was killing me. I was desperate for a new job.<br /><br />And I took the first thing that was offered me at a decent salary. It was a good offer. A position with a lot of upward mobility potential, and a manager who said all the right things.<br /><br />About 2 months into the job, I started to get a bit worried. I've never done a program management job like this. I'm used to thinking tactically, not strategically. But, I'm smart, and can learn, if someone can teach me. Again, my manager seemed like the right person to do that.<br /><br />My manager is very likely going to be an executive in this large company someday. He is very politically connected and pretty smart. But, because of all this, he is working on a lot of projects for upper management, and his time is stretched thin.<br /><br />A month or so ago, shortly after the blogger get together, a third of my team was laid off. I'm convinced that the only reason I wasn't on the list was because of the unique project I'm on and knowledge I have that would be hard to replicate in a short time.<br /><br />I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm sure that this team I've moved to is on the way out. It is just a matter of time. Beyond that, I haven't made much personal progress, because my manager is too busy to mentor me. A couple of smart guys on my team have tried to help me, but they are busy with their own jobs and don't have much time to spend with me.<br /><br />So, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm not learning anything here, and I'm sure this team will be gone within 6 months. Beyond that, I'm not sure that without additional mentoring I'm even doing the job to the satisfaction of my manager. He has yet to give me feedback, after 6 months. At the same time, the company has a rule that you aren't supposed to change jobs if you've been in that role for less than a year.<br /><br />And, of course, the market is in bad shape right now. It would be foolish to leave my job when things are so bad everywhere.<br /><br />So, I'm sure I'll stick it out. I just have to figure out how to make things better on my own, without any help.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-44313512825570579922008-11-05T07:54:00.002-07:002008-11-05T08:15:11.760-07:00Strap in!First, that is strap "in", not "on"...<br /><br />I'm still amazed at the U.S. election process.<br /><br />There are somewhere around 305M people in our country.<br />Around 228M of those are eligible to vote.<br />About 118M people decided to vote. A little over half the eligible voters.<br /><br />Of that, 62.6M people decided Obama was their choice.<br /><br />So, 20% of our total population feels he is the right man for the job.<br />And 27% of eligible voters felt the same way.<br /><br />And that is the best we, as a country can do? A man that 27% of us (at best) can get behind?<br /><br />Obama, McCain, I didn't vote for either. Both were not good candidates. What do we have to do to get a candidate that is good? That we can ALL get behind?Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-72070489307650979372008-10-27T20:38:00.002-06:002008-10-27T20:53:28.255-06:00My two cents, for what it's worthEveryone has given their impression of the blogger get together except for me! I suck (that's what she said).<br /><br />It was fun, as everyone has said. I had a good time, as most have said. The one thing that no one has pointed out is that I had the top score in American Idol, but that's fine, I'm not one to brag...<br /><br />yeah, right.<br /><br />More than anything, it was great to have Therese to myself for a weekend with no kids. And though there wasn't as much nookie as I may have liked, there was some real bondage. Bonding. Sorry, Freudian Whip. I mean slip. Freudian slip.<br /><br />As I continue my tour of the United States, I spend a day this week in Cleveland. I've never been there, but everyone who I've spoken with tells me to have a good time at the "mistake by the lake." Their term, not mine, so no offense to anyone who is from out that way. I don't even know what that phrase means, but I've heard it several times over the last couple of days.<br />When I travel lately I check out the weather report before I leave. The next couple of days in Cleveland are "70% chance of snow with a high of 42 degrees". Considering I'm coming from a place that is highs in the 70's and no precipitation, it will be quite the scary change.<br /><br />It's quite the "in and out" trip (that's what she said). Just one night, a quick meeting the next morning, and out the next afternoon. Seems like a waste, but I suppose these things have to be done once in awhile.<br /><br />Other than that, life moves forward as normal. Hope you all are partying hard!Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-47880963023871201042008-10-13T22:02:00.002-06:002008-10-13T22:05:44.161-06:00holy CRAPI'm.... at a loss.<br /><br />And how often does that happen?<br /><br />My wife is a naughty naughty girl.<br /><br />I want to say so much more, but can't even begin - I don't know what to say that won't give <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">WAYYYY</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">TMI</span> that you all don't want to know.<br /><br />It was great.<br /><br />Thank goodness for sex <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">bloggers</span> from long ago, and their ideas that Therese has stored away.<br /><br />Thank goodness.<br /><br />Oh yeah.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-51636783609280212582008-10-10T08:13:00.004-06:002008-10-10T08:56:22.415-06:00Everyone is doing it...I feel left out. First off, I haven't been following your blogs as closely as I should. Then, when I do go and check, you are talking about things near and dear to my heart. They are 14 religion posts and even a post on infidelity!<br /><br />I'm going to start this by saying that I don't generally jump into religious discussions with y'all. I read them all, and am very interested, but theology is not my strong suit. So I cannot generally speak to the level that many of you do, which is why I need some clarification.<br /><br />I don't want to add more fuel to the fire, but I do want to understand the subject of "authority". In the posts I see, many SEEM to believe that authority is subjective. Catholics obviously trace their Church back to the apostles, which is an important part of why we are Catholic. Other Christians do not see this as something that matters.<br /><br />When you read the early writings, however, it seems to be something important. The Apostles laid hands on the early bishops, and this continued to the present. The laying on of hands and current authority choosing other authority seems to be important in the early church.<br /><br />Therese recently shook up the family by pointing out that Catholicism is not the only religion that contains this apostolic succession. The Orthodox churches, also originally founded by apostles, and who originally were in harmony with the Catholic church, can also claim this. The discussion then comes to the point of Peter being the head of the Apostles and who had authority and who split with whom, and all that stuff.<br /><br />But to most of you, that is all neither here nor there, because this succession and authority isn’t really important. So my question, then, to you all is, when there is a disagreement on what the Bible means, where do you look for the answer? Do you believe that having an authoritative answer is important, or is it merely your intentions and heart that ultimately matter?Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-12930043966529093492008-10-05T11:48:00.002-06:002008-10-05T12:06:56.825-06:00These pretzels are making me thirstyLet's say you are sitting with your friends. One of them has upset you. What do you say to them?<br /><br />a. You are my friend, but I do not have to take this from you. You are upsetting me!<br />b. Look, you're my friend, but I don't want to talk about this anymore right now.<br /><br />If you chose the second option, you are normal.<br />If you chose the first option, you don't have the ability to use contractions, and you probably wrote the script for "Fireproof."<br /><br />I admire what they were trying to do; the idea behind it. I acknowledge the fact that most of the people working the film were volunteers. And as a Catholic I would love to see more Christian films made and have them do much better at the box office.<br /><br />But, unfortunately Christian movie make has become synonymous with bad movie making. We allow poor dialogue because we agree with the message. Which is all said and good for those who already agree with the message, but doesn't create a desire in those who don't.<br /><br />Fireproof was a good movie. I enjoyed going with Therese and spending some time out. But their arguments were so bad that both of us broke out laughing at one point. The dialogue was so poorly written that it made it tough for the actors. Most of the acting itself was okay. I used to do a lot of theater, and I'm no Kirk Cameron, though I play him on TV. I probably could have done better than some of the actors in there, and I'm not all that OR a bag of chips.<br /><br />I know at least one or two other peeps saw the movie. What did you think?Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-83213701225319391432008-09-27T13:23:00.004-06:002008-09-27T19:34:52.115-06:00The Love DareI'm an idiot when it comes to being a husband. I admit it. There are many ways in which I could treat my wife and my family much better.<br /><br />Awhile back I heard about the movie "Fireproof" which came out yesterday. I haven't seen it yet, but intend to. It stars Kirk Cameron as a firefighter who is admired by everyone except his wife. They finally can't deal with it anymore and decide to get divorced, but before he gives completely up, his father asks him to give his marriage 40 more days and follow a book called "The Love Dare"<br /><br />This is an actual book, and after hearing about the movie I decided to order it. There are pieces of our marriage that I could do much better in, and I want to try to do everything I can to make our marriage great.<br /><br />I started the book a few days ago. Each day you have a reading, followed by a "dare" and then a place to write down your thoughts as they ask some specific questions. The first two days it all made sense and flowed very well. Then yesterday, the third day, it kind of broke down.<br /><br />The reading on the third day was about selfishness. I read it yesterday morning. Then, after a long day of work, I went and worked out and came home. Right after coming home, Therese got some bad news. But I was so wrapped up in my head about work stuff that when something small irritated me I got irate and flew off the handle. I was... exactly as the book described. Selfish. I didn't listen to her concerns, I didn't sympathize or empathize with her. I never told her that I knew she could do it or encourage her.<br /><br />And it has kind of put me in a funk. Mostly because the VERY DAY I read about selfishness in marriage and in love I basically re-enact the book, and not in the good way.<br /><br />But more than that, it has shown me how selfish I have been as of late. Because I've been pretty preoccupied lately and Therese has been spectacular about things. Giving me space, helping me complete things, going so far as to take a lot of things off my plate and take them on herself. And not once has she complained.<br /><br />So, I'm trying to pull myself out of this funk, get back on the horse, and do what I should have been doing all along. Treating my wife as good as she has been treating me.<br /><br />Sorry sweetheart. I love you.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">p.s. - yes, I know being in a funk is just more selfishness, which is why I want to get out of it quickly and move on.</span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">p.p.s - </span><a href="http://www.usccb.org/nab/092808.shtml"><span style="font-size:78%;">one reading at church today </span></a><span style="font-size:78%;">was all about selfishness. I think it is a sign...</span>Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-16420354115474195542008-09-11T15:02:00.002-06:002008-09-11T15:07:37.638-06:00XavierNow that Xavier is, in fact, Xavier, Therese and I have been debating how to pronounce his name. We could use your help... (and by that I mean that you can assist me in proving her wrong). So, cast your vote:<br /><br />a) "Ha" <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">vier</span> (like Javier. Spanish sounding)<br />b) "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Zay</span>" <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">vier</span> (as in, you just <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">zaved</span> me from a burning building)<br />c) Professor X (from X-Men)<br />d) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">WTF</span>, why are we talking about this?<br /><br />I never said I was a dictionary editor.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-88811983515742360262008-09-04T20:56:00.002-06:002008-09-04T21:31:57.809-06:00NOLBA Week, Day 5Well, this is it.<br />Which makes me want to break into <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4yIxIhO23c">song</a>.<br />Day 5, and my last day of posting. We are headed out of town in the morning for the weekend, and I'll be internet-less. However, I think this information is worthy of the final NOLBA Week post.<br /><br /><u>7 Reasons you may not be having sex (borrowed, again, from health.com):</u><br /><br /><em>Reason 1: Your bed isn’t sexy anymore.</em><br />Why do so many of us insist on bringing third parties—laptops, PDAs, Law & Order—into the boudoir? All that technology and distraction can cause insomnia and put a damper on your sex life. After all, it’s harder to initiate sex if your spouse is glued to the TV or if your hands are busy exploring the Web rather than his body.<br /><em>How do I fix this?</em><br />At a minimum, make the bedroom a no-technology zone. Then take a hard look at your life (from romance and work to entertainment and family), and give sex the priority it deserves. If you have to schedule sex like you do a meeting, do it!<br /><br /><em>Reason 2: Your meds are stealing your sex drive.</em><br />We aren't talking about the little blue pill. Anything that reduces blood pressure, anxiety, and acid reflux, and antidepressants, too.<br /><em>So what do I do?</em><br />Ask your doc about the sexual side effects of all of your drugs.<br /><br /><em>Reason 3: Your crazy-busy life.</em><br />You get up, go to work, cook, work out, taking care of the family, and still try to find time to entertain your blog readers. And, still, at 11:00 p.m., you’re expected to put it all behind you and start singing some <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJt20meH7N4">Barry White</a>.<br /><em>Yeah, so? Everyone is dealing with this one.</em><br />You need some serious life management to work it in (that's what she said). Put a lock on the master bedroom door and set a technology time limit. Shift gears from the harried pace of everyday life with a soothing bath. Plunging into warm water takes you away from the laptops and cell phones that clog up your day. Add a few drops of scented oil; the aroma is thought to heighten sexual feelings.<br /><br /><em>Reason 4: You don’t like yourself.</em><br />Many people find themselves withdrawing or not willing to experiment sexually if they’re overweight or don't feel good about themselves. Emotionally, we’ve bought into the media’s idealization of what is really sexy, and we all know the media sucks.<br /><em>Can I get through this?</em><br />Feel free to ask your spouse what s/he likes about your body; the compliments can help you feel more positive. And believe them when they tell you!<br /><br /><em>Reason 5: Your spouse is just not that into it right now.</em><br />You may actually be raring to go, but your partner’s engine seems stalled. The usual problems between husbands and wives can play out in the bedroom, especially if your partner has a hard time expressing his feelings properly or there is an increase in stress. Or, s/he may want you to be more sexually adventurous. You needn’t hang from chandeliers (not that there is anything wrong with that); it could be as simple as being a more enthusiastic lover.<br /><em>This one makes sense to me!</em><br />Well, talk it out in a blame-free way. It’s understandable that one would feel rejected in this situation. Don’t confront them with ‘What the hell is going on?' or they’ll shut down. Try to broach the subject in a loving way.<br /><br /><em>Reason 6: You're depressed.</em><br />When you’re feeling down in the dumps, desire can take a big hit. And this happens to everyone at some point.<br /><em>I'm depressed just reading all this.<br /></em>Yeah, that makes two of us. Talking and exercise help; they enhance mood and energy, and sometimes boost blood flow to the genitals.<br /><br /><em>Reason 7: You’re sick and tired.</em><br />There are a slew of illnesses that take away our desire, so don't assume just because your partner is usually ready to go they always will be.<br />Sex Rx: Once a sickness is detected and corrected, any associated symptoms should dissipate.<br /> <br />Good luck, and thanks for participating in NOLBA. Remember our motto: Come and join us.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-18033206389896667722008-09-03T22:29:00.003-06:002008-09-03T23:27:09.430-06:00NOLBA Week, Day 4Look, we all enjoy what my wife would call "crockpot" sex. It lasts awhile, the heat stays on, and you get to enjoy each others company.<br /><br />At NOLBA, we know you don't always have a lot of time, so here are a few ideas to get in the mood fast (shout out to health.com)<br /><br />1. Break a sweat - Working out increases blood flow which is an immediate libido booster. Working out by dancing? Even better. <a href="http://digger96.blogspot.com/2008/08/dancin-digger.html">Digger will show you how!</a><br /><br />2. Turn up the heat - One of my favorite commercials said it best; <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp7iDpvROWQ">I'm SPICY!</a><br />Chili triggers the release of endorphins, which will get your game going.<br /><br />3. Dig up those honeymoon photos - Spending time remembering good times can help you get in the mood.<br />Therese and I knew a family who professionally recorded our wedding as their gift to us. We've been married over 5 years.... and should get the video any day now.<br /><br />How's your progress? Everyone keeping up? :)Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-23993330812774660262008-09-02T23:58:00.002-06:002008-09-03T00:02:28.478-06:00NOLBA Week, Day 3Now, we can prove we have a reason for not hearing our spouse... but no doubt it can be overcome. Its called attentional blink and you can read more about it <a href="http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loves-little-blind-spots">here</a>.<br /><br />I was going to write something witty and meaningful about it, but I spent the last three hours working in front of my computer on a work project. It would have taken me 6 hours, but Therese did a lot of internet research and really cut down on the time. So, its midnight, and I'm going to bed.<br /><br />Thanks baby. I owe you one. And by one, well, you know what I mean...Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-39176628688858589272008-09-01T21:29:00.002-06:002008-09-01T21:47:00.930-06:00NOLBA Week, Day 2Many NOLBA members find it very difficult to continue their normal sexual relationship once they have children. In that spirit, we offer some ideas to keep your sex life alive after children, borrowed from WebMD.<br /><br />1. Redefine Sex. Sex starts with other things. In the morning, a slow kiss or caress can get things going so that at night the NOLBA patented "<a href="http://restoringthecovenant.blogspot.com/2008/03/oop-there-it-is.html">bow chicka bow wow</a>" can commence. You start reconnecting in this new way, and then the other ways aren't such a leap.<br /><br />2. Reconnect with each other. Don't talk about the kids all the time no matter how tempting it might be. Talk about whatever it is you used to talk about together. Keep those conversations alive. For example, Therese and I like to talk about you all. Since I don't have as much time to blog, she helps me stay updated on what everyone is doing. (You can run, but you can't hide.)<br /><br />3. Get creative. Babysitters can take kids on l-o-n-g walks around the block. In general a couple would do well to revisit adolescence: Get in the car, park somewhere. Or run off into the woods for an hour.<br />As you might remember, that worked for Therese and I <a href="http://restoringthecovenant.blogspot.com/2008/02/if-you-want-to-take-ride-with-me.html">once</a> before.<br /><br />4. Be spontaneous. Rediscover the living room. And the kitchen. And the counter. And the floor. OHHHHH baby... the <a href="http://restoringthecovenant.blogspot.com/2007/08/bang-bang-maxwells-silver-hammer.html">table</a>.<br /><br />5. Be realistic. You may not get it right now. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. But you will get it. And if you spend some time prepping, and not pushing, it will be good.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-30431843035041233382008-08-31T21:29:00.002-06:002008-08-31T21:37:57.567-06:00NOLBA Week, Day 1There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but according to CNN there are 8 reasons you should never have sex:<br /><br />1. Revenge: The most popular very-wrong reason to have sex, revenge sex never ends well.<br />Hooking up with his best friend because you're angry at your boyfriend will get you nowhere. If you do manage to break up their friendship, then you're stuck with an untrustworthy dude.<br /><br />2. Ego gratification: You must be fine if that scorching hot bartender took you home. Or not. Men have been known to do some unsavory things for physical gratification. The fact that he's willing and able doesn't say squat about your appeal.<br /><br />3. Appliance envy: Your roommate "doesn't believe" in air conditioning. You can't afford premium cable and are addicted to "Weeds." You're desperate to try out <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Wii</span> Fit. All of these desires are perfectly rational.<br />However, they are absolutely not worth the price of waking up next to someone you otherwise cannot stand. (Well, except for the AC, but that's only if it's above 100 Fahrenheit.)<br />p.s. I don't believe this applies to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">FADKOG's</span> special selection of "appliances" that she keeps in her drawer.<br /><br />4. Weight loss: Yes, you may have read those women's magazine articles about how being physically intimate can help you shed pounds. However, a 120-pound woman burns only 57 calories during 15 minutes of sex. That's less than half a Hostess Ho-Ho. Of course, at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">NOLBA</span>, our goal is more than 15 minutes, but who's counting?<br /><br />5. Clarity: Ever since you were nine years old and saw that topless Kate Moss Calvin Klein ad, you've had a hunch you were same-sex oriented... you're wrong.<br /><br />6. Mercy: Empathy for a sad soul is one thing; holding an intimate pity party is quite another. Oh, and you know that saying, "no good deed goes unpunished?" It goes triple in this instance.<br /><br />7. Quid pro <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">quo</span>: I'm not knocking or talking about the sex professionals out there -- this is for the amateurs among us. Just because he bought you a lobster doesn't mean you need to give up dessert. Unless maybe its a very good Creme <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Brulee</span>.<br /><br />8. Fame by association: He's famous, you want to be. Fame is not transmissible through intimate contact. However, lots of other things are, so watch out.<br />Note: Does not apply if you are a groupie of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">FTN</span>...Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-85330840961116716342008-08-27T20:10:00.004-06:002008-08-27T21:52:37.309-06:00NOLBA: When once a night isn't enough<div>Ladies and gentlemen,</div><div> </div><br /><div>It was in 2001 that our President, George W. Bush, saw a severe problem in the United States. Using keen insight, he quickly enacted into federal law NOLBA.</div><div> </div><br /><div>While NOLBA is a controversial law, woman around the country quickly rallied behind it. The law authorizes a number of federal programs aiming to improve the performance of American men across all states, counties, cities, and towns.</div><div> </div><br /><div>While the focus of the law is on women, a number of men have also lined up behind it to support the various facets of the law.</div><div> </div><br /><div>As stated by the President: "Accountability is incredibly important for the marriage institution. People shouldn't fear accountability. They ought to welcome an accountability system as a useful tool to make sure no orgasm is left behind."</div><div> </div><br /><div>The No Orgasm Left Behind Act of 2002 is an incredibly powerful and useful tool when used correctly, but the key to it all, as noted by our President, is accountability. In that spirit we have formed the NOLBA Society, designed to help keep each other accountable. Orgasms are important on numerous levels and we will not allow them to be lightly tossed aside. </div><br />The NOLBA Society is holding a orgasm-fest the week of September 1st. Those who join are pledging to do whatever it takes, however kinky, to ensure that their spouse achieves orgasm during every sexual encounter of that week.<br /><br />In addition, participants will share ideas and encourage each other during this week to ensure that, truly, no orgasm is left behind.<br /><div> </div><br /><div>If you are interested in joining the NOLBA Society, please leave a comment on this post. We believe that by helping each other, we help ourselves.</div><div> </div><br /><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDEfVzwwwtGx3Pdxguobdc6WfxIiqvWORvW8N2cXtglRTziBoJllpWbyQkX-ELHwzOAnCKysz0xgF6PD0LtRbrg8dKJLZd9wHUZbdfoCRmjE_FxL4VSBKq4zZl453QirsoafvZRSfQ8gI/s1600-h/cooltext397249889.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDEfVzwwwtGx3Pdxguobdc6WfxIiqvWORvW8N2cXtglRTziBoJllpWbyQkX-ELHwzOAnCKysz0xgF6PD0LtRbrg8dKJLZd9wHUZbdfoCRmjE_FxL4VSBKq4zZl453QirsoafvZRSfQ8gI/s200/cooltext397249889.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239410915490924242" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Come and Join us.<br /></div></div>Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-29667827168922673052008-08-19T21:08:00.002-06:002008-08-19T21:19:31.973-06:00I'm too sexy for my nationalityHad I known how busy this new job would be - and most importantly that it would cut into blogging time - I never would never have taken it.<br /><br />We have been doing a lot of work on the house this summer, both outside and inside. Recently, we hired a handyman to build us a large bookcase so we could better organize our office/spare bedroom.<br /><br />He was a nice enough guy, and really liked to talk. The estimate, which should have taken 30 minutes, took an hour and a half.<br /><br />On Saturday he came over to install the finished project. We carried it upstairs (the finished product is 8' tall by 8' wide) and he started installing it against the wall. Therese was downstairs cooking enchiladas.<br /><br />The gentleman, who is Mexican, smelled the chili sauce and asked "what is your wife making? Chili?"<br />And I said "Actually, enchiladas."<br />"How does she know how to make real enchiladas?" he asked "You folks are too white."<br /><br />So I informed him that Therese is actually half Hispanic, on her mothers side. But what he heard was that I am half Hispanic, not Therese.<br /><br />He proceeded to tell me that I am too handsome to be Mexican, and that I must be lying. Most Mexicans, he explained, are ugly.<br /><br />I reiterated that it was Therese, not me, who is half, but that I appreciated the compliment.<br /><br />We have a date on Friday.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-57537764289577924152008-08-01T08:07:00.003-06:002008-08-01T08:34:30.037-06:00Livin LL LocoIt has been mentioned in passing before, but I'm pretty sure I am the only person in the entire world who blogs and is lower libido.<br /><br />I certainly don't mean any offense to all of you, but everyone else in blog land are talking about how they don't get enough because their partner doesn't fulfill them in (choose all that apply):<br /><br />A physical way<br />An emotional way<br />An intellectual way<br />A sexual way<br />A religious way<br />All of the above<br /><br />For Therese, being higher libido than me creates tension in our marriage. I don't express myself in ways that she understands or in ways that she can take to the bank. She wants passion, fire, and excitement. I give her cuddling. She wants to know that I desire her sexually, and while I certainly do, I don't show her that desire very effectively.<br /><br />It wasn't always this way with us. When we were first married, it was pretty wild. 5 times in 12 hours our first day of marriage. By necessity, it slowed down after that. When we were in our first house, I would come home and the first thing we would often do is make love.<br /><br />The affair changed all of that for us.<br /><br />Late last year/early this year I went back to counseling to deal with these demons and move past them once and for all. But, it was too late. Therese had our daughter a couple of months later, so we only had a short time to really try to improve things together. In that short time, I felt like we made progress, but 2 months, compared to two years; how do you know if it is real progress or just a blip on the radar?<br /><br />After the mandatory 6 week <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">dry spell</span>, we picked up where we left off. Tried some new things, and all seemed to be well.... but once in awhile we still have a set back, which once again makes us ask if we are moving forward or back.<br /><br />I don't WANT to be LL. Especially not living in blog world with all you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">HL</span> folks. Therese suggested that perhaps the two are tied together. LL folks don't have the drive or ambition to create blogs, or the desire to share themselves with these strangers on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">internet</span>.<br /><br />If that is true, then perhaps me being out here is a sign this too shall pass.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-50560675618738058812008-07-29T08:49:00.003-06:002008-07-29T09:00:12.089-06:00Overheard in our HouseConversation from last night:<br /><br />1: I WANT SEX!<br />2: It's late, I want to go to bed.<br />1: I WANT IT NOW!<br />2: Why do you never want to cuddle first? GEEZ.<br />1: Will you stop whining and give it to me?!<br />2: How about this; if we don't cuddle tonight, you won't get it again for weeks!<br />1: You are such a girl!<br />2: You are such a guy!<br />1: I love you, can we please just do it?<br />2: I'm not in the mood.<br />1: You're so fine, baby. Give me so lovin'.<br />2: How about tomorrow?<br />1: Tomorrow you'll say you don't want it, either!<br />2: No I won't, I promise. But for tonight, cuddling.<br />1: I don't like cuddling, its too hot.<br />2: No cuddling, no forking.<br />1: Fine, we can cuddle.<br /><br />Now, re-read it. It goes without saying that person #1 is Therese, and person #2 is me.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-45193863982396920732008-07-24T22:07:00.002-06:002008-07-24T22:22:49.478-06:00I won't tell 'em your name...Who can name the above band, WITHOUT looking up the song on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Google</span>? Winner gets a hug, but we are on the honor system here. And no looking at the other comments before you guess!<br /><br />We all know each other from our online writing, but how much do we really know each other? What do you picture when you are reading my posts? And, dare I ask, what do you picture when you are reading my wife's posts?<br /><br />A few of us have even ventured to give our real names (at least first names) to others. Always through email. Always quietly.<br /><br />I'm the same way, but I don't really know why. The odds that someone would be able to find me if my first name was on here, vs. it not being on here now, are slim. Unless you have a pretty uncommon first name, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Tertullian</span> for example, you should be okay. Of course, the flip side is that many of us have seen people get in trouble by not being careful enough.<br /><br />Well, now its time for me to out the very few people who I do know.<br /><br />Just kidding, of course.<br /><br />So here is the game; of the people you read, if you had to guess their real name, what would you guess? For those of you who read hundreds of blogs (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">FADKOG</span>) just name a few. If you know someones real name, for goodness sake don't out them on here.<br /><br />I'll give an example:<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">FADKOG</span> seems like a Stephanie to me.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">FTN</span> - definitely a Peter (why did that sound dirty?)<br />and I would call xi, Mark, if I ever met him<br /><br />Who sounds like what to you?Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-8264252638725091892008-07-22T09:15:00.002-06:002008-07-22T20:03:06.740-06:00My buddy and meI've been deeply contemplating marriage over the last few days, as I listen to men around work complain about their marriages. It seems clear that everyone has at least one complaint. But why? Why is no one happy?<br /><br />The real question is why do men feel that it is 'manly' to complain? When did this become the standard joke around the old water cooler? I can't help but wonder if it was the same time that men became idiots on TV and in the rest of the media.<br /><br />But I digress.<br /><br />Obviously it isn't that everyone is unhappy, but that complaining about one's spouse has become commonplace. So, when my wife tells my son how great his daddy is, and all the wonderful things she sees in him, it stands out. It is an example of a kind of virtuous love that people often don't see anymore. And, it makes me want to do the same thing. I tell him "doesn't your mommy look pretty today?" He looks up at her, and says "pretty today." He may not know what he is saying, but he knows that daddy is saying something nice about mommy, and vice versa. This will hopefully stand out to him someday if he decides to date and get married.<br /><br />My wife is a wonderful example of this kind of love. The next time I hear a husband, even in jest, saying something derogatory, I'm going to speak up.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196067630204118697.post-85809419556473665842008-07-19T22:17:00.001-06:002008-07-19T22:17:26.306-06:00News FlashI'm just not interested in back-door play.Recovering Soulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.com14