I'm an idiot when it comes to being a husband. I admit it. There are many ways in which I could treat my wife and my family much better.
Awhile back I heard about the movie "Fireproof" which came out yesterday. I haven't seen it yet, but intend to. It stars Kirk Cameron as a firefighter who is admired by everyone except his wife. They finally can't deal with it anymore and decide to get divorced, but before he gives completely up, his father asks him to give his marriage 40 more days and follow a book called "The Love Dare"
This is an actual book, and after hearing about the movie I decided to order it. There are pieces of our marriage that I could do much better in, and I want to try to do everything I can to make our marriage great.
I started the book a few days ago. Each day you have a reading, followed by a "dare" and then a place to write down your thoughts as they ask some specific questions. The first two days it all made sense and flowed very well. Then yesterday, the third day, it kind of broke down.
The reading on the third day was about selfishness. I read it yesterday morning. Then, after a long day of work, I went and worked out and came home. Right after coming home, Therese got some bad news. But I was so wrapped up in my head about work stuff that when something small irritated me I got irate and flew off the handle. I was... exactly as the book described. Selfish. I didn't listen to her concerns, I didn't sympathize or empathize with her. I never told her that I knew she could do it or encourage her.
And it has kind of put me in a funk. Mostly because the VERY DAY I read about selfishness in marriage and in love I basically re-enact the book, and not in the good way.
But more than that, it has shown me how selfish I have been as of late. Because I've been pretty preoccupied lately and Therese has been spectacular about things. Giving me space, helping me complete things, going so far as to take a lot of things off my plate and take them on herself. And not once has she complained.
So, I'm trying to pull myself out of this funk, get back on the horse, and do what I should have been doing all along. Treating my wife as good as she has been treating me.
Sorry sweetheart. I love you.
p.s. - yes, I know being in a funk is just more selfishness, which is why I want to get out of it quickly and move on.
p.p.s - one reading at church today was all about selfishness. I think it is a sign...
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The Love Dare
Posted by Recovering Soul at 1:23 PM
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3 comments:
We're going to the movie tonight as part of a small group outing, and then tomorrow, our church is starting a sermon series on strenghening marriages. I'm all for the marriage part, but way up in the air about the movie.
I may look into the book. I'm sure it is a great tool for opening discussions with your mate. My mate, how I love him, is not a big discussion participant. We'll have to see how we go about the series.
I'd be interested in hearing how you find this working for you as you go along.
You know, RS, sometimes I get the impression that you tend to beat yourself up pretty good when you screw up, and catching yourself in, oh, say selfishness, can send you spiralling down into a blue funk.
Which isn't really the most helpful approach.
Check out Micah 7:8-9 sometime. . . "When I fall, I will rise. . ." (sort of a biblical version of 'I get knocked down, but I get up again'). My oldest son has that verse tattooed on his shoulder. Which, all things considered, is a pretty decent tat to have (if you've just absolutely GOT to have a tat. . .)
The thing is obviously not to take our sins lightly; but, as long as we're fallen men, and living in a fallen world, sin is a more-or-less permanent feature of our lives. The question is, what do you do with the sins you will (virtually inevitably) commit? Repent, get forgiven, stand up, and move on, with the Holy Spirit's help. . .
And just between you and me, I'm WAY too selfish, myself. . . So, hey, we ought to get together sometime soon. . . ;)
Well, points to you for realizing the nature of your indiscretions, and apologizing for them.
I'm sure you were apologizing in real life, and not just in a bloggity way, right?
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