The Prodigal Son

I am going to jump off of the affair topic briefly to discuss a family affair. At around the same time the affair began, my 20 year old brother disappeared. He literally disappeared. We were all standing around, looking at him, and he vanished! (Okay, maybe not THAT literally.) He didn't come home one night, didn't show up for church the next day (which was unusual as he was in the choir I led), and no one had heard from him. At some point late that night or early the next day he called my parents. He had decided to move to New York from our little town in the mid-west, because he met a girl online and had fallen in love. I call her a 'girl' rather than a 'woman' because when he moved out she had just turned 17. She was still in high school. Shortly after he left home we discovered that he had a serious pornography addiction, and there was evidence to support that she shared in that problem with him. There was little communication with him after he left. He called my parents once in awhile, but I think we only spoke with him once. And then the family received an email from him; to no one's surprise, the girl was pregnant. Over the course of the next couple months a lot happened with them and we found out a lot about them, all through my parents. We found out that she had been living off the state for quite awhile because of various problems with her parents. She accused her step-father of molesting her, though there was never any evidence of it and when she was encouraged to talk to the police she wouldn't. The state had actually put her up in a motel for a period of time because she was kicked out of her mother's home, and that was where she and my brother were both living (I had never heard of the state doing this for someone in their care before, but we were able to confirm the truth of this. A stupid idea in my opinion, but that is a different story). And during the summer, they got married. The family wasn't invited until about a week before the ceremony, so none of us made it out there, but I am not positive we would have gone regardless. My brother went out there with no plan, and it took him a long time to find a job. He had left his job in a family run company locally with no notice. When he finally did find a job, it didn't pay much, and was several miles from where they were living; so, without a car, he was walking a long way each day. She dropped out of high school right after he got out there. They ended up going to the ER for one or the other of them at least once a month - and the doctors never found anything wrong. She was (and still is) a hypochondriac, and he has started down that road as well. The rare communication we had directly from them was disgusting. She was venomous toward us, and he was cold. She attacked our faith, our intelligence, and our morals, and this was just her first time ever communicating with us! After he had been gone for about 9 months, he emailed the family that he was coming home. Not because he needed our help, of course, but because there were more job opportunities here. Of course, any rational person would realize that there are more job opportunities in larger cities than the one we live in, but that is what he told us. They made it here a week later. After they arrived, more chaos ensued. He once again moved with no plan and had no job or prospects. Her "sickness" continued to land her in the hospital seven times the first two months they were out here, although she was always sent home because the doctors couldn't find anything wrong (naturally, they don't have health insurance). They lived in a Ronald McDonald house for awhile, but since she is a minor she was not allowed to be in the house if he wasn't there. We found out that not only had he told many lies to us, his family, but he had also lied to her. He told her the reason he moved out there was because my parents kicked him out of the house. Not only did this not happen, but it never even came close to happening. He said that he was disowned. He told her we would never accept her because she wasn't Catholic (we have many friends of various faiths), and many other lies. Their entire relationship is based on a lie, and those lies have strained our relationship with them. Unfortunately there is no end to this story. They had their baby about 6 weeks ago. We have seen the baby once since then. Since he continues to lie to the family and to her (many other lies since then) we don't want to be around them or have him around our child. You see, here is my thing: I did some very bad things, and was a very bad example, but at least I am repentant and trying to make amends. I am trying to be a good husband and father and turn my life around. But my brother refuses to admit his lies, even when caught in them, and won't take responsibility for his actions. He continues to try to find ways to rebel against the family, and pulled another stunt this weekend. He now has two minimum wage jobs, and they are living in an apartment (state assisted again), which is good that he is trying, but I can't in good conscience let my child be around someone who refuses to try to do better. Am I crazy not to want to let my child be around his uncle? I don't know of a good way to close this, as I need to run to a work dinner and am literally running late. It has made the holidays tough and we are not looking forward to Christmas, but we need to be there for my parents and other brothers. Until next time, I am still a Recovering Soul!