The Affair

I thought it would be only fair to those of you who begin reading my journal to understand a little about the affair. The intricate details are for me and my wife only, but I will tell you a bit in general terms.

It has been almost a year now since the affair began.

I was going through a lot of stress at the time. We had a brand new baby, I was a full time student in addition to having a full time job, and this other woman was a distraction. When it comes right down to it, that is pretty much all she was. Since that time we have seen a counselor and learned that I was seeking praise, that I allowed myself to be praised by someone other than my wife and turned that into much more than it truly was.

My wife sometimes calls the other woman my "lover." I don't like the implication that I actually loved this woman, because I didn't. So, I refer to her simply as the "other woman." She was a fellow student. At first she became a friend, which eventually led to an inappropriate relationship. Don't get me wrong, though. The relationship was inappropriate from the first time she called me to talk about something other than school related business. There was nothing appropriate about developing a friendship with a woman who was not my wife. No if's, and's, or but's.

It has been six months. almost to the day, since what we refer to as "revelation." The time my wife finally found out why things were amiss in our marriage. You see, things were amiss, even before the affair came out. Of course they were! I was spending time with my wife and son, but even then I was only half a husband. I was spending inappropriate time with another woman!
So, it finally came out. Six months ago. And my wife and I have been trying to heal since then. She has been amazing, sticking with me through it all, and I have tried to become the husband I originally set out to be. The husband I want so badly to become again. When we were first married, I feel like I was an awesome husband. I made a lot of sacrifices. And here I am - a shell of what I was.

So we continue trying to heal. We are on the road. We are doing okay. All credit for where we are goes to my wife. She is helping me become the man I always wanted to be.